Just Emma

      Hello, lovelies.               When someone you love dies, can you really get over the loss of them in your life? Is it important to hold on to every memento, every memory good and bad, every piece of furniture that has passed down through your family that now fills your house? But if you let go of anything, does that mean that you no longer love the person who's gone? Is it ever okay to let go of the pain and guilt? Or is that just letting go of love?               This past Friday marks the 16th year since my mother died. I use the word died, as opposed to passed away because when she died something in me died too. She was 59 and I was 28 and for the most part, I was completely in denial when she died. My mother had been ill for many years, but I always believed that she would outlive me. But she didn't. And then I was supposed to grow up in a world where my mother wasn't, and I really...

    Hello, Lovelies.          With COVID 19 still claiming thousands of lives all around the world every day, is there really anything that we can do? We're not doctors, we can't formulate a vaccine or cure, we've all socially distanced ourselves, we waited and waited in queues for the shops, we've even forgone seeing our family and friends. Surely that's enough. We can't do any more. We've given all we have to stop this deadly virus. We have COVID fatigue. And now they say we have to wear a mask. But will that really help? Or is my face my rules? Can wearing a mask really stop the spread of the virus and help save lives?           On Monday morning I was heading to work, nothing out of the ordinary. I parked my car and headed for the underground station that would take me up the Northern line when I stopped dead just outside the station entrance. I'd forgotten my face mask, and it was now policy to cover your face when us...

     Hello, lovelies.          The world that we live in is a very complicated place at the moment. Covid 19 is terrorising us, war-torn countries and genocide are getting worse, fear and resentment are part of our daily lives. The government is opening lying to us, so how is any of this ever going to get any better? Whose fault is it? Can we really shut our borders to keep it all out? Is it all the fault of those who were not born here? Do some people matter more than others? Are some lives just not that important?            The world is a beautiful, wonderful place full of different cultures, languages and people. But the one thing we all have in common is that we all have the same set of values and goals in life, to improve our lives, protect our children and leave the world a better place than when we found it. Wow, what a beautiful place the world would be if that was actually true. But we as a people, we f...

    Hello, lovelies.          Have you ever wondered what people thought about you? Do they see you as the fun-loving, quirky person you see yourself as or have they drawn their own opinions? If someone tells you their opinion of you, is that constructive or destructive? Is their view of you any more valid than our own? Or is someone's opinion of you any of your business?           I have always tried to be honest about who I am, which means throughout the years I have lost friends and been bullied for just being me. I have always struggled with the weight of their views of who I am. They can have whatever opinions they like, but why do they always have to voice them? I know that we all make judgements of other people's lives, but it can be difficult to deal with other peoples opinions of us, especially about things we feel strongly about. A flippant comment from someone can cut us deeply, and it can be really hard to boun...

Hello, lovelies.      Watching the news today, do you ever wonder if we're being told the truth? Some really big scary things are happening all around the world. So big that there is no way that we could be lied to about it. And lied to by whom? And why? For what purpose? Why can't we just take everything at face value and believe what we're told? Or is that really just drinking the kool-aid?         Looking around the world today is exhausting. Global warming, climate change,  Covid 19,  obesity, mass childhood poverty, racism, looming recession and crazy politicians to name but a few. How much can we take? We all have busy full lives, and these things are happening across the world from us, so what can we do? We give to food banks, donate to charity and vote in a way that we hope will make a difference. But things are getting worse and life is very far from fair. So why would our news outlets lie to us? The government has our best...

     Hello, lovelies.          After months of self-isolation, social distancing and spending far too much time in our own little bubbles,  lockdown is finally easing and the  restrictions are being relaxed. The parks and beaches are full of people again and you can now go into a pub and enjoy a drink with your friends. Schools are reopening in September, much to my children's annoyance.  Have we defeated Covid? Is life finally going back to the way it was before?  Can we pick up where we left off and carry on running at full speed? But do we really want that? Do we ever want to go back to the way we were before?     Lockdown hit us all very hard. It crept up on us. We knew it was coming, but lived in denial of it actually happening. We watched the news of Italy and Spain, whispering to each other that surely it wasn't going to arrive here in England. But it did. With devastating effect. And with fear and trepidation,...

    Hello, Lovelies.            Have you ever noticed that the world we grew up in looks nothing like the world of today? Could we ever go back to the good old days?  But, were they really that good? Who doesn't love 'old school'?  Is London a true representation of the wider world, or am I just living in the M25 bubble? And why are my deeply held values so at odds with Brexit Britain?  What if everything I believe in is wrong? Am I on the wrong side of history?      Growing up in South London in the 80s' was fantastic. The second world war had ended 40 years previously. The 50s' brought us popular cultures, like movies and the advent of television. These sought to entertain us while reinforcing our collective values of faith, patriotism and conformity to societal norms. The swinging 60s' was the decade that shook Britain. This was the first decade that teenagers were free from conscription. Contraception. Young peopl...

     Hello, lovelies.       Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered w hy some people more attractive than others? Why can't we all be stunning like Hollywood film stars? Are the people in magazines really that beautiful?  How come I missed out on the 'good looking' genes? Or is beauty only skin deep?      Waking up this morning, I stared, blurry-eyed, into the mirror and wondered why couldn't I have been born with a better bone structure? Why aren't my teeth perfect? How did I get so grey so quickly? Why can't I be as beautiful as other people? You see them everywhere. On TV, in films even walking down the street. I have some stunningly beautiful friends. Beautiful people are everywhere. Why can't I be one of them? Which got me thinking. Would my life be better if I was drop-dead gorgeous? Beautiful people are valued more highly in our society, aren’t they?  They definitely get more ticks and likes on social media, and what'...

    Hello, lovelies.              Have you ever wondered h ow people see you?  Can they see all your idiosyncrasies? Do they sit at home and dissect your personality?  Or is that just how you see yourself? Is it all about perspective?      Over the years many people have told me exactly what they thought of me. Some were kind, but most were very unkind and, to me, untrue. And for the most part, I have tried to take it with a pinch of salt, and not take it too seriously. No. That's not true at all. My daughter tells me all the time that I take everything people say to me to heart. I allow their opinions of me shadow how I see myself. Okay, so I can be a bit too loud at times, and I have a fog horn for a laugh. But how does that make me so unlikeable? Is that really how I come across to others? Or is that just one moment in time when it's not about me, but a reflection of them?       Many years ago ...