Is someone’s opinion of me any of my business?

    Hello, lovelies.

       Have you ever wondered what people thought about you? Do they see you as the fun-loving, quirky person you see yourself as or have they drawn their own opinions? If someone tells you their opinion of you, is that constructive or destructive? Is their view of you any more valid than our own? Or is someone's opinion of you any of your business? 

        I have always tried to be honest about who I am, which means throughout the years I have lost friends and been bullied for just being me. I have always struggled with the weight of their views of who I am. They can have whatever opinions they like, but why do they always have to voice them? I know that we all make judgements of other people's lives, but it can be difficult to deal with other peoples opinions of us, especially about things we feel strongly about. A flippant comment from someone can cut us deeply, and it can be really hard to bounce back from. But is it just me that struggles with the opinions of others? No. At one time or another, we have all had to deal with people with differing views. Some people are quick to move on, so what not me?    

        It is very easy to listen to my friends and work colleagues, but is their opinion of me correct?  Should I really change my whole self to 'fit in'? To be the way that they tell me to be? Am I too sensitive? Or is it my mindset that should change?  Yikes, that's a big thing to look at. If you're like me and have struggled with bullying and an underlying lack of self-confidence, it can be really hard to be comfortable with yourself. But by being confident and secure means that you can stay calm and listen to others and not take it all to heart and run it through your head in the middle of the night. (Happens way more than I'd like to admit.)  

    By being secure in yourself and in your values and beliefs helps when a not so nice comment comes along, you can stand back, breathe, and take it for what it is. Not your opinion. Your feelings about yourself shape how you see the world and yourself. It's also easier to deal with opinions when you can see them for what they are, and look at them objectively. We have all spoken without thinking, I often put my foot right in it, but we very rarely intend to hurt someone. We've also spoken out of anger, frustration, fear and hunger. And opinions can be fleeting, so dwelling on them can be completely pointless. But if someone persists in telling you what they think, I have begun saying, 'Thank you for your opinion, but I'm alright for now.'

    And a lot of people comment on lives and experiences that differ from their own.  My eldest daughter is a vegan, and she is constantly battling other peoples ideas and opinions on what she should or shouldn't be eating. And my son used to do gymnastics but had to give it up due to excessive belittling and bullying from his school mates, as boys 'shouldn't' be wearing a leotard. The sad thing was that my son was really, really good at gymnastics. We've all been mansplained to, been gossiped about and ostracised by others who disagree with us. It's hard to live with, but I have started to breathe deeply and remove myself from unhealthy conversations. Which helps me put it all into perspective.  It helps me remember that everyone has their own individual opinions and beliefs, and what they think of me doesn't reflect who I am. We all have opinions, like noses, and what other people think of me is none of my business.