Is it time to be like a tree?
Hello, lovelies.
With the heat of the summer a distant memory, we can now look forward to cooler temperatures bringing the technicolour’s of autumn. Days are getting shorter, the trees are changing colour, and the race for all the best shiny conkers has begun. No? Just me then. You can buy almost anything pumpkin spice flavoured. The shops are full of everything Halloween, and dare I say it, Christmas. It’s time to put to bed our gardens in readiness for the winter, pull out all our warmer clothes and ready ourselves for the inevitable turning on of the central heating. I just love the autumn. We’ve got Halloween and Bonfire night to look forward to, all before Christmas and everything that it brings. But what can this time of year teach us? Is it all about bedding down for the winter, and waiting it out until the spring has sprung? Or is this the best time of year to do as the trees do and let it all go?
It always staggers me just how beautiful the autumn is. I’m always blown away by as the trees change colours before letting go of their leaves. And living in London, I’m totally rubbish when it comes to hot weather, so this time of year makes living in such a built area bearable. But with the nights drawing in, and with the cost of living crisis in full swing, one must wonder what this winter will have in store for us all. Does this mean that with the dark nights, and cold days, can we all just hope to make it through to next year and the warmer weather? Or is this the perfect time for us all to learn a very valuable lesson. And that it is not only alright to let go, but it is actually a very important part of moving forward to bigger and better.
I am the queen on over thinking. If it was an Olympic sport, I would win first place for sure. And the one thing that I hold on to the most is what I believe other people think of me. It takes up a huge amount of real estate in my brain, so much so that I sometimes must stop myself from reacting to a situation before it had even happened. I can imagine every conceivable scenario, and somehow it always ends with me being the butt of every joke, or making every mistake known to be possible. So, I’ve not always pushed myself forward, or taken every opportunity open to me, for fear of making a mistake or being hated. Now, I don’t say this lightly, for there have been times that I have had to actually apologise to someone just because I am who I am. And that really does take its toll. But is the answer to just let it go? Is it really that simple?
Not so long ago I started a new project, and that meant I had to work along side some one that I really didn’t get along with. We just both rub each other up the wrong way. So normally that wouldn’t be too much of a problem, as the world is a very large place, and we could both get on with what we need to do and not get in each other’s way. But that time, life had not been kind to me, and I had to work in very close proximity with the last person I would want to. At first, I tried to ignore them. To remove myself from any situation that could have led to us being in the same area, but whatever I did, somehow, I would always end up standing along side them. And then my brain would go into overdrive, and I could almost hear what they thought of me. How much they must have hated being around me. How much better the project would be if I wasn’t involved. But I was, and I had no idea how I would get through and even survive the process.
Am I really that bad? Does spending any time with me really result in a total catastrophe? And if not, why do I always assume that it will? I know that in the past, I was married to a man who always told me that to spend any actual time with me was like running an assault course naked and in the dark. But was that anything to do with me? Or was he just using me as his preverbal punching bag? And what about my long-time childhood friend? She would always tell me everything that other people would say about me. Was she just speaking the truth and was telling me how it was? Or was she just trying to isolate me so she wouldn’t be alone, as for her making and keeping friends was almost impossible to do.
It was probably a bit of both. But what I should never have done is take the full responsibility and learn to be happy with me just being me. But am I right to hold on to all the negative thoughts about the past and what might happen in the future? It’s what I have always done. And it’s worked in the past. No. It hasn’t worked. To spend hours upon hours mulling over all the things I’d done or said wrong. Imaging all the negative things people were saying about me, without having any reason the believe that they were thinking anything of the sort.
And that got me thinking. When it’s time, the trees all let go of their leaves to rest in preparation of all the good things to come. With out letting go of the past, they wouldn’t be able to grow and make new leaves in the future. For them, letting go is an essential part of their growth and it is the same for us too. Holding on to the past, all the negativity and even all the worries that could or might happen is just a waste of time. We can’t do anything about the past but learn from it. And holding on to it does absolutely nothing good for us. Negativity, past trauma, fear and worry does so much more harm than good when rattling around our heads. And if by letting go can free up some space for peace and quiet. For rest and recovery. For the space to see our world for what it truly is, and not weighed down by something that has no place in our lives anymore.
With the heat of the summer a distant memory, we can now look forward to cooler temperatures bringing the technicolour’s of autumn. Days are getting shorter, the trees are changing colour, and the race for all the best shiny conkers has begun. No? Just me then. You can buy almost anything pumpkin spice flavoured. The shops are full of everything Halloween, and dare I say it, Christmas. It’s time to put to bed our gardens in readiness for the winter, pull out all our warmer clothes and ready ourselves for the inevitable turning on of the central heating. I just love the autumn. We’ve got Halloween and Bonfire night to look forward to, all before Christmas and everything that it brings. But what can this time of year teach us? Is it all about bedding down for the winter, and waiting it out until the spring has sprung? Or is this the best time of year to do as the trees do and let it all go?
It always staggers me just how beautiful the autumn is. I’m always blown away by as the trees change colours before letting go of their leaves. And living in London, I’m totally rubbish when it comes to hot weather, so this time of year makes living in such a built area bearable. But with the nights drawing in, and with the cost of living crisis in full swing, one must wonder what this winter will have in store for us all. Does this mean that with the dark nights, and cold days, can we all just hope to make it through to next year and the warmer weather? Or is this the perfect time for us all to learn a very valuable lesson. And that it is not only alright to let go, but it is actually a very important part of moving forward to bigger and better.
I am the queen on over thinking. If it was an Olympic sport, I would win first place for sure. And the one thing that I hold on to the most is what I believe other people think of me. It takes up a huge amount of real estate in my brain, so much so that I sometimes must stop myself from reacting to a situation before it had even happened. I can imagine every conceivable scenario, and somehow it always ends with me being the butt of every joke, or making every mistake known to be possible. So, I’ve not always pushed myself forward, or taken every opportunity open to me, for fear of making a mistake or being hated. Now, I don’t say this lightly, for there have been times that I have had to actually apologise to someone just because I am who I am. And that really does take its toll. But is the answer to just let it go? Is it really that simple?
Not so long ago I started a new project, and that meant I had to work along side some one that I really didn’t get along with. We just both rub each other up the wrong way. So normally that wouldn’t be too much of a problem, as the world is a very large place, and we could both get on with what we need to do and not get in each other’s way. But that time, life had not been kind to me, and I had to work in very close proximity with the last person I would want to. At first, I tried to ignore them. To remove myself from any situation that could have led to us being in the same area, but whatever I did, somehow, I would always end up standing along side them. And then my brain would go into overdrive, and I could almost hear what they thought of me. How much they must have hated being around me. How much better the project would be if I wasn’t involved. But I was, and I had no idea how I would get through and even survive the process.
Am I really that bad? Does spending any time with me really result in a total catastrophe? And if not, why do I always assume that it will? I know that in the past, I was married to a man who always told me that to spend any actual time with me was like running an assault course naked and in the dark. But was that anything to do with me? Or was he just using me as his preverbal punching bag? And what about my long-time childhood friend? She would always tell me everything that other people would say about me. Was she just speaking the truth and was telling me how it was? Or was she just trying to isolate me so she wouldn’t be alone, as for her making and keeping friends was almost impossible to do.
It was probably a bit of both. But what I should never have done is take the full responsibility and learn to be happy with me just being me. But am I right to hold on to all the negative thoughts about the past and what might happen in the future? It’s what I have always done. And it’s worked in the past. No. It hasn’t worked. To spend hours upon hours mulling over all the things I’d done or said wrong. Imaging all the negative things people were saying about me, without having any reason the believe that they were thinking anything of the sort.
And that got me thinking. When it’s time, the trees all let go of their leaves to rest in preparation of all the good things to come. With out letting go of the past, they wouldn’t be able to grow and make new leaves in the future. For them, letting go is an essential part of their growth and it is the same for us too. Holding on to the past, all the negativity and even all the worries that could or might happen is just a waste of time. We can’t do anything about the past but learn from it. And holding on to it does absolutely nothing good for us. Negativity, past trauma, fear and worry does so much more harm than good when rattling around our heads. And if by letting go can free up some space for peace and quiet. For rest and recovery. For the space to see our world for what it truly is, and not weighed down by something that has no place in our lives anymore.
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