Will you or Will you not?

Hello, lovelies. 

           Sticks and stones my break my bones, but a joke will never hurt me. Never has a single slap been heard across the globe and divided so many. Was it the right reaction in the defence of a wife and loved one? Have we all collectively lost our sense of humour? Have we lost the ability to laugh at a pretty lame joke, that to be honest I didn’t even understand? And, so what? Standing up for those that we love should be commended, shouldn’t it? And it was only a slap. A simple swing of the arm. No thought. No intent. Just a simple reaction to a badly thought out joke. And so what if Will Smith put his hands on another human being in anger and violence. I mean, it’s the norm isn’t it? We’re all able to hit anyone one we want for saying anything about us. Or are we missing the big picture? Have we been blinded by our love for a Hollywood super star? And putting our hands on anyone, regardless of the circumstances, is never the answer. 

         Everyone from my generation can, without any doubt, be able to sing the entire opening song of the Fresh Prince of Belair. It was a right of passage in the school playground. At any given second you, and everyone around you could break out and sing, ‘In west Philadelphia born and raised….’ And you could be assured that like a Mexican wave, one by one the whole playground would join you in singing. Will Smith was a total legend. An incredibly talented actor with model good looks, what was not to love. Growing up, most of us either wanted to marry him or be him. And with movies under his belt such as Independence Day and Men in Black, it looked like our beloved Will Smith was unstoppable. So how did he go from an unbeatable movie star to a violent aggressor that has split us down the middle? 

         I have always been a pacifist. If violence is the answer then we’re asking the wrong questions. I’ve been called a dreamer for wanting to build bridges and not boarders, but I’m okay with it. But sadly, I am all too familiar with anger and vicious outbursts. But with all things, the red flags of an unstable person creep in through the back door. In my case it all started with the love bombing. And then slowly came the put downs, gaslighting and general degradation of my very being. And like most people who live with the fear of upsetting the aggressor, I was totally unaware that there was even a problem. Over the years many of my friends tried to show me the truth of my violent partner, but I was completely unable to see it. No, not that I wouldn’t see it, but it was far too dangerous for me to even put a name to what was happening to me. Over these past few years I have asked myself many times why I didn’t leave him. Why I stuck it out for over two decades and lived in fear for most of that time. And the answer is that I really don’t know. But I do know that the most dangerous time for a person leaving a violent relationship is when the victim tries to leave. 

           My ex never actually attacked me in public, not physically, but he did belittle me, make all his friends laugh at me and put me down in a very loud and public way. But I always knew that he had the potential to verbally lash out at any moment. But he always stopped himself from actually hitting me in public. He saved that for behind closed doors. And I am not saying that Will Smith is a domestic abuser, but to jump to the attack at the drop of a hat raises a lot of red flags. 

          And what about the joke? There was a time that comedians could shine a light on some dark corners of the world, bringing it all to light and letting us all laugh at it. We all remember Ricky Gervais and his comments and cutting jokes when he hosted the Golden Globes. What was so different this time? Would it have been appropriate for those that Ricky turned on, have the right to jump up and lash out? Should we be embracing the cancel culture and stopping everyone from making a joke at another person’s expense? Have we fallen so far that names can really hurt us?

           I have a really rubbish sense of humour. Slightly dark and a bit sarcastic. But the one thing I never do is deliberately poke fun at others. Apart from Trump and Bojo our clown in charge, for them its open season. But I have a very small voice, and it’s not on the worlds stage. So for me, what Will Smith did was so far past an acceptable reaction that it borders on an assault. What he should have done is waited, reached out to express his feelings on the matter, and asked for a full public apology from Chris Rock and asked for a sizable donation the charity of Will’s choice. That is what a well-balanced, grown up human being should have done. Not acted on anger and impulse and taken a swing at another human being. And as for the repercussions for Will, it seems a bit of a cop out barring him for the next ten years at the Oscars. Well, whooty Doo! Is that all?

           Stopping all jokes that could or would cause offence would be ridiculous. We have to be able to talk about and joke about some dark and dangerous topics. That way we can move past it. And who is to say what is offensive? I truly am sorry that Jada was hurt and embarrassed by Chris’ stupid joke. It really was in bad taste. I know that if I had alopecia, I wouldn’t want people laughing at me. But for the world to witness such an act of violence for something so stupid is a very dangerous path to walk down. What messages are we passing on? It is okay to lash out if we feel slighted. I really don’t want to live in a world like that.