On the tip of my tongue.

Hello, lovelies.

        We all have those moments when the word we’re se desperately searching for is on the tip of our tongue, but we just can’t remember it. Or that name, pin number or password is so close to mind, and then… poof! Gone, never to be remembered. And what of all those things that are supposed to be gone, sayings from a time gone by. What happens if we say something that is now frowned upon? What if someone has changed their pronouns, and no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to say the right thing at the right time. Is it ever okay to say something and hope for the best? Is it ever alright to say what is on the tip of our tongues? Or is it time to move on and strive for so much better?

      I am known for not always saying the right thing at the right time. So many times I will tell someone something, and the second I say it, realise that they were not the person I should have said it to. Or, and I have done this more than anyone else on the planet, send the wrong text or email to the person that it wasn’t meant to be sent to. I never do it with any malice or ill intent, but without a second thought, I speak without thinking. And I try, I really do, to say the right thing. Use the right pronoun. Not embarrass my children, although I never really try too hard there. So I was stopped in my tracks when I uttered an awful old saying that has no place in this modern world. 

         My awful secret goes as follows. I was having a chat with one of my besties, and as she was telling me some fantastic, but shocking, gossip I found that I said something so shocking and unexpected, I had to take a moment to work out why I had said it in the first place. And what is this awful thing that I had said? When she had finished telling me all the gossip, I was having trouble taking it all in so I said, ‘Hold on a cotton picking minute.’ My bestie stopped talking and stared at me. For a second I hadn’t realised what I had said. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. How could I have been so stupid. Why did I have to say it? And the biggest question of all was, why didn’t I know what it actually meant? I mean it. On the surface I know it was meant to mean - wait a second. But why was I not aware of the terrible history of what it actually meant?

      Wait a cotton picking minute, after a lot of research, can mean many different things. It can be traced back to the 1700s and the plantations. But it can also be used to link cottoning on to someone or something. But had I said it with any real understanding of what it meant? And the answer is most definitely, NO! To me it was an old fashioned saying meaning wait a minute. Just like the saying ‘Bless your little cotton socks’ and ‘Penny for your thoughts.’ Those sayings slip so easily off my tongue, as did the awful saying I said in front of my bestie. But as she knew that I hadn’t said it with anything other than the surface meaning, she let it slide, this time. Was she right to do it? Let me get away with the excuse of ignorance? And that answer is no. Just because it was a saying from the past, and has no modern connotations of racism, doesn't mean that it is okay to perpetuate it now. 

      As much as I love history, there are some things that must stay in the past. We must educate those who hold on to the incorrect sayings, and help them understand what it is that is wrong. It doesn't matter that I had said it without any understanding as to why it is wrong, in this day and age we must think past ourselves and realise that what was once accepted is now understood to be so very wrong.