People like me

Hello, lovelies. 

     Cast your mind back. Do you remember the time at school, being called into the career advisors office, to have that chat about what you wanted to do for a job when you finished your education? Back when you could be anything you wanted to be, as long as you worked hard enough. Did I want to be a doctor? A vet? A famous actor? Or was it okay to have no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life? It’s a very big decision for a young child to make. Once you state your career goals, are you ever able to change your mind? Go off in a completely different direction. And find happiness doing something you never imagined you could or would ever do. Or are you stuck in the rut of your very own childhood making? Can we rise above our stations in life and dare to dream big? Or are we destined to have the same little lives and dreams that we thought would make us happy so long ago?

      From my earliest memory, I have always known what I wanted to do as an adult. And, funnily enough, it looks nothing like the life I am now leading. I had planned on becoming the world’s finest leading actor. To be in high demand for the West End stage. Picking up awards left, right and centre. The paparazzi camping outside my front door morning noon and night, all trying to get that exclusive snap of me. Now, the only time I ever see a flash is when a light blub blows, or I open the fridge door too quickly. The only awards I receive are from my children every mothers-day. The ‘Best Mum Ever!’ award. And as for acting, the only time I find myself treading the boards, is when I hear the yell from my children, ‘Who ate the last biscuit?’ And I have to act like an innocent bystander, whilst trying to chew the said biscuit without my children seeing.

    But does that mean that I have wasted my life? That, just because I haven’t made it to superstardom, that I have failed even my earliest childhood dream. And more over, what happens when others see you as being or doing just that one thing. Can you ever explain yourself to them, or will they just not get it? They can’t see it. Or worse, they disagree with your life choices. Can we ever break away from what we are known for? I am super lucky and have been asked to write the book for a future musical about a famous historical figure. This won’t be the first musical I’ve written, but it will be the biggest to date. A lot of research and historical digging needs to happen for me to be able to map out the basic plot line. No mean feat, but I am excited to be part of the journey. I come from a very long line of professional writers, performers, poets, magicians and actors. Over the years, my family have written numerous books, plays, screen plays, short stories and everything in between. 

    So, when I was having a lovely conversation with a friend of mine, I was stumped when she paused, thought and then said, ‘I won’t be coming to see this show of yours!’ Right. Okay. I’m fine with that. I haven’t even written the thing yet, so surely within time, she will want to come and support me. No. She has decided that some one like me wouldn’t or couldn’t write a musical about anything. I explained about my family. My past works. The fact that I am due to publish my first book in the autumn, but none of that mattered to her. She couldn’t get past that someone with my background, my lack of formal writing education, and lack of theatrical understanding would ever be able to rise above from where I have come from. Regardless of working in and around the theatre my whole life.   

      But is she right? Am I just setting myself up for an enormous fall? Should I stop writing and just be content with who the world sees me as? As social creatures, we like to fit in with our peers. It’s safer not to stand out. To never raise our heads above the parapet. But then it’s so easy to be pigeonholed, and only seen as one thing. One type of person. Doing one type of job. Looking around our work colleagues or friends, there is always the loud one. The quiet one. The joker. The busybody. The pretty one. The strange one. But is that all they are? Can the shy quiet person ever break out of their shell and become the life and soul of the party? Can the talkative person ever just sit back and not say anything? I tried it once. I was in a thoughtful and pensive mood, so kept myself to myself. And I was instantly criticised for being quiet and moody. And so what if I left after my A levels and headed straight to drama school. Does not going to an acclaimed university make me a lesser person? That’s an awful lot of pressure to put on someone. University or bust! And what if covering the sheer mountain sized cost of attending higher education is out of reach, does that mean that the person will never amount to anything?

     I was hurt by my friend’s admission and her lack of faith in me. That she will never see me as more than my daily job. And that’s okay. Her opinion of me is not who I am. What someone thinks of us shouldn’t make us who we are. Many people just like me have gone on to change their lives. And many have gone on to change the world for the better. Just because I didn’t live up to my friend’s standards, doesn’t mean that my life has any less value. I think that people like me can do anything we want, whenever we want. And we certainly don’t need others approval or permission. It’s time that I break out of my safe old self, and show the word who I truly am. I’m going to continue writing my musical. It may not be the best one ever written, but it will be mine. And you are all invited to see it.