Why bother?

Hello, lovelies. Having an idea is both a wonderful and terrifying thing. It starts off as a small seed in our head, and with a lot of hard work can grow into either a work of art, or it can burst into a whole lot of wasted time. But how can we know which way our idea can go? Is there a way to determine the outcome in advance so to save ourselves a ton of work? Should we tell others our idea and see what they think? If they love the idea, does that mean that the world at large will? And what if they think it’s the worst idea they've ever heard, should we just drop the idea entirely and move on to something else? Should we try anyway, or just ask ourselves, why bother? I absolutely love reading. It happens to be third place on my most favourite things to do. But during lock down, I have struggled to find a good book to read. And worse still, on finding a promising book, only to get about halfway through it to find the plot is flimsy, the writing is formulaic, and the characters are just downright unlikeable. Then the question is, to carry on till the end, hoping that it gets better. Or stop reading it and try to find another promising book. But the one thing I have never done is question why the writer bothered to write the book in the first place. Just because I didn't like it, doesn't mean that the world at large won't enjoy it. And I find that all the time. People often tell me what books they've enjoyed, and for me to read it and absolutely hate it. But that's the wonderful thing about life, we don't all have to like the same things. And what a boring place the world would be if we all did. So, I found myself in an unusual place last week. I have a small, but exciting seed of an idea growing in my head, it’s an idea for a book. It won't be the first book that I have written, far from it. I have written three books for adults and one children's book to date. And am planning on having them all published this year. Fingers crossed. So when I asked a question to a friend of mine, and explained that it was to help me with my idea, she prised the premise of the story out of me, and then declared that it was an awful idea, and that I shouldn't bother writing it as no one would ever want to read it. And for the first time in my life I asked myself, should I listen to her advice and let go of my idea and just not bother? Not being bothered about something means it’s not worth the trouble of doing it. And feeling that any work we may have done wouldn't have been of any value or use. But who is to say what is of value in our lives? It has been a long running theme of my life that I have been told that the things I have done have not been any good. And a lot of these comments have been said to me, not just by strangers, but by some of the most prominent people in my life. And I have always taken everything they have said to me completely to heart. Even if the comment was a backhanded dig or criticism meant to hurt. But I have always kept on doing the things I do regardless. And, okay, I may not have had the best idea, written the best panto or have the best idea for a book or blog. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't bother writing it in the first place. So why do we let what people say to us affect us in such a way. Why are we bothered about what others think about us and our ideas? Why does someone saying that we shouldn't bother, bother us so much? Well, firstly, we're not machines, we can be affected by the most mundane of things that in normal situations shouldn't bother us at all. But I have found, in that moment, when someone has told me not to bother, that a 'Non reaction' isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Sometimes it’s our own reactions that can bother us the most. “Why did I say that?” is a common thought at those moments. Remaining silent in these situations is a better method of dealing with it, opposed to speaking up. There’s a reason why people don’t say the first thing that comes into their heads. We try to filter our thoughts in order to not make us say stupid, naïve or hurtful things. This filter keeps us cool and calm, but sometimes forget to use the filter. And that can make us feel worse that we did in the first place. So, what should we do in those circumstances? What should we say when people tell us not to bother? Then comes hardest and easiest part. We must smile, thank them for their input and move on with what we were going to so in the first place. My friend didn’t say what she said to be mean. It was just her opinion, and that’s okay. She should have thought about what she was saying before she spoke, but I won’t let her words stop me from writing mine. And, we can use the negatives that are said to us and spin them into positives. I had the idea for this blog off her comments. And, her reply to my question has really helped me with my story formulation. No one should ever tell you not to bother when it comes to doing something that you love. And we should never let someone else’s opinion of what we’re doing bother us. So, good idea or bad one, who knows. Only time and a huge amount of work will tell.