What do you want for Christmas?

               Hello, lovelies.

     We’ve had eleven months to work out what it is we actually want for Christmas. And now is the time to tell those who want to buy us something that we want. But what is it? Perfume? A tie? Soap on a rope? What is that one thing we would really like? The list is endless of all the gifts on offer, but what is the one thing that would make us happy? Or is there nothing we want or need? Is the one thing we dream of the one thing you can’t buy in any shop? Are we being difficult? Or is it about time we change the Christmas present giving traditions?

            I hate and dread buying presents for people. I’m rubbish at it. I always want to find that one perfect gift, and trawl through the shops and online, but never find anything close to the perfect present. So, I always end up buying the same old thing, and as my brother will tell it, every Christmas I always get him a Christmas chocolate stocking and a can of Lynx Africa. Every year. Well, apart from this year. And the only reason is that I can’t find any Lynx Africa anywhere. Why am I so bad at buying that perfect gift? It’s not that I don’t like shopping, because I do. Apart from sleeping, reading and drinking coffee, shopping is my favourite thing to do. But when it comes to buying something special, that encapsulates the person and my relationship with them, and all within the £10 price range, I fall short every time.  I’ve even tried making my own gifts, from chutney to snowman marshmallow cones. But I never seem to find the right gift.

            Then again, I am an awful person to buy presents for. I don’t actually want or need anything. And any present that is meant for me, I always end up sharing it with my children. I have a wardrobe full of clothes. A kitchen full of utensils. And I never wear perfume. What would be the perfect gift for me? When I was married, my ex-husband wouldn’t ever bother buying me a present for Christmas or my birthday. And over the years, I came to the realisation that I didn’t deserve a gift. That there wasn’t anything out there that was right for me. But that wasn’t true. And my ex-husband didn’t buy me anything because he couldn’t think past himself to what someone else would want. So, am I really so hard to buy for? No. My friends have always amazed and surprised me with wonderful gifts. Even my kids have bought me some spectacular gifts for hardly any money. But what is it that I really want for Christmas?

            And that got me thinking. What is the one thing that would really make my life better? That one thing that would be perfect for me? And it took a conversation with both my father and my best friend for me to work it out. What I really want is time. Not so I can cram any more into my day because every second of my day is already scheduled out for me. But what I want, no, need, is time. Time to be mindful. Time to be with my children. More time to spend in the park with my dogs. Time to read more books. An actual time to do all the things that I have been putting off for years. I don’t need any smelly plastic tat; my house is full of that already. Okay, buying me a book is always a good idea, although I never have time to read anything. But what I really want is time. We can't buy time in a shop so where could I get it from, and the answer is easy. I need to prioritise time. We all do. So we can block out when we're going to do something, and when we're going to spend focused time on ourselves. The washing up will always be there, and I may never see the bottom of the laundry basket. But the household chores can wait. What we all need to give is time. Time to spend with our friends. Meeting up for a walk and a coffee. Time to visit an art gallery or museum. Nothing that costs money. But focused time. An amazing tiny friend of mine texted me recently, and she’s said that in place of a gift, she wants to meet up in the new year and go for a walk with the kids and dogs. And that’s the best present you can give anyone.





 





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