Time to celebrate

               Hello, lovelies.

     Have you ever received good news, but are convinced that something was sure to go wrong? On seeing 1 magpie do you cross your fingers and salute to ward off any bad luck that might follow? And yet never lookout for the good things when you see 2 of them? Why is it so much easier to expect bad news than good?  Is it that nothing ever good happens to us, or are we predisposed to only expect bad news? Why is it so hard to celebrate the good things that happen?

               I received some very good news this week. At first, I couldn’t believe it, surely there was some mistake. But as I read the email, I saw that it was true. Something I have worked on for so long was finally going to happen! Whoopee! But that got me wondering, why had I been so convinced that I was going to fail? That they were sure to see through my work and declare me to be a fraud. Why had I begun to have doubts in myself and not just celebrate the good news? And I wondered when was the last time that I had celebrated any past achievements?  I know that I celebrated the births of my 3 children, but that was all about my children and not about me. Was it at receiving my divorce from my abusive ex-husband? No, I just felt relieved that it was finally over. Maybe it was when I brought my house? No, I didn’t celebrate then either. I didn’t even have a housewarming party. So, when was it?  And I realised that I never celebrate any of my achievements. But why?

               Believe it or not, not celebrating our achievements is a very common habit. We all do it. We work so hard to do what we need to do, but when it’s done, we just move the goalposts and move on, never taking the time to appreciate all that we have achieved.  But in not taking the time to acknowledge what we have done undermines our confidence.

               What happens when we fail to celebrate our success? We miss out on that feeling on our work well done. Knowing that we did it! Of appreciating all the work and effort we put into it. But when we do celebrate our success, we send a message to our unconscious mind saying, I have something to celebrate, I am worthy, I am good enough, I achieved something, I can do it. Taking the time to recognise those moments of success helps build our sense of self-worth.

               We celebrate all sorts of occasions like birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, weddings, Christmas and New Year to name just the ones I can think of. Each has a different meaning in our lives, and with each celebration, we remember all the good, positive things. So why not all our personal successes? Why do we feel ‘big-headed’ if we praise ourselves? By not celebrating and marking those moments our unconscious mind doesn’t have the time to remember them, so the memory of what we did may be lost. And that is definitely not helpful in building our self-worth. Celebrating our successes is also important for perception, not just how we see ourselves, but how others see us. When you celebrate your own success, you give permission for others to do the same.  

               But is that part of the problem? Is that we don’t want people to take notice of us. Maybe the thought of throwing a party at every goal pasted is the last thing that you want. But it doesn’t have to be a great big celebration with balloons and cake. (There should always be cake!) But it is important to pat ourselves on the back. Its all too easy to overlook and undervalue what we achieve. I find it hard to understand that when I do something, that not everyone else can do it too. That because I don’t find it difficult, then, therefore, it has no merit. That only by pushing myself to brink would be worthy of any sort of praise. For instance, when working Front of House at my favourite theatres, I am very good at talking to all the customers and therefore I have very high sales figures.  But because I can do it with very little effort, in fact, I really enjoy that part of my job, I fail to see that others really don’t like going up to people and starting a conversation. I was even mentioned in a glowing trip advisor review for my friendly and chatty manner. But I didn’t celebrate that either. I never do.  But in taking the time to recognise our achievements, we all learn to appreciate our unique talents and strengths.  It also helps with our sense of closure. How do we know when something is done if you don’t mark the occasion? If you don’t have that closure, how can to you move forward on to the next project.

               Is the fact that we overlook our successes because we think that we don’t really deserve it?  But we do. We really do. And in this world that we live in, we have so much pressure put on us, from our work, our families as well as everything else we have to cram into days, that we really need to congratulate ourselves. We need to do it for ourselves because no one is going to do it for us. That’s very sad but true.  No one else has time to pat you on the back, because they too are trying to juggle an endless list of demands put on them. So, celebrating our wins not only feels good, but it also reinforces our positive attitudes when we are faced with new challenges and opportunities.

So how can we celebrate our successes and wins? We can breathe it in. To feel the success in every part of our bodies. To feel positive energy and know that we are responsible for it. We can look back and see just how far we’ve come and know that we have the ability to succeed in the future. We can write down our wins in a diary. So that every time we need that memory of how hard we worked and how far we can go, we can look it up and know that we can do it again. We can tell our family and friends. They will rejoice in us and everything we’ve achieved. And finally, we can take care of ourselves. Take some much-needed time to have some positive self-care.   

So, I’m going to celebrate my win. I did it. And I will keep on doing it. And for my celebration, I decided to cook a swanky meal for my children and sit with them to watch a very silly film, while eating my very favourite Lemoncello pudding.