Is the Pope Catholic?

            Hello, lovelies.

          Have you ever wondered why being gay was illegal and still is in certain parts of the world? Is it right to never admit to who you love? Have you ever prayed that you would wake up the next day and not have an attraction to someone of the same sex? Is being gay a lifestyle choice? Do you choose to be gay? Or, is it how you were born and who you are? Can you pray the gay away? Should the law allow same-sex couples to get married? Or is that a threat to the meaning of the union? Is it bad to be gay? Or, should we all just let go of our own fears and prejudices and mind our own business?

            All my life I have worked in and around the theatre. I started working FOH at a local theatre when I was 15 years old, and still work there now nearly 30 years later. Most of my friends are people I’ve met working there. I have been surrounded by some amazing people, that have always been there for me. I had a complete culture shock when I took my first steps out of the theatre world and got a job in a very ‘normal’ workplace. Gone where the S Club 7 calendars, only to now be faced with topless women adorning the months of the year. And gone was the understanding that many people are very different, and that difference is to be celebrated. Not that there was a homophobic feeling in the place, it was more that they didn’t want to talk about it. You had to be the man you were told to be.       

             This week has been a ground-breaking week. The pope, Pope Frances, has finally endorsed same-sex civil unions and LGBT+ rights. That in itself is a monumental step forward. But that got me thinking. Why has it taken so long? And why was it never allowed in the first place? Surely love is love, after all, isn’t that what is at the heart of Christianity. So why is it so taboo to be in a loving same-sex relationship and what to tell the world that you are in love and are married? Even the pope, back in July 2013 said, ‘Who am I to judge gay people?’ But hasn’t the Catholic Church always said that sexual activity between members of the same sex to be a sin? And historically, the Catholic Church has resisted the acceptance of homosexuality within Christian society. But why?

            Why has the Pope decided to say anything now? We do know is that the Catholic Church's approach to homosexuality is full of contradictions and double standards. After all, the same Pope who has now endorsed same-sex civil unions is against same-sex marriage. How does that work? If you’re gay you can be in a civil union but not married with all the legal benefits that marriage brings? And the same Pope has said that people should not be made "miserable" because of their sexual orientation, but he is against gay men joining the clergy. Does that mean that there is no place for homosexuality in the Catholic Church?

            I was married for 11 years, and with my ex-husband for a total of 23 years. And it was definitely not a happy marriage. I could not get divorced fast enough. But why should my disastrous marriage be seen as valid? And a loving same-sex marriage not so? Does it really say in the bible that homosexuality is a sin? Or is that a moot point as it was written in a time that the best way to grow a religion is to make one, so having babies was a duty? There are many points in the bible that we no longer believe in or adhere to, like wearing mixed fabric clothing? Deuteronomy 22.11 Or eating shrimp? Leviticus 11.9-12. Why has the sin of homosexuality persisted? What is the fear of same-sex couples getting married? It by no means affects anyone else’s lives, so why do people get so worked up about it?

            2020 has been an awful year, and I do not want a do-over. 2021 can’t come fast enough for me. But if in 2020 we can globally start the conversations of why our collective fears are standing in the way of other people’s lives, then maybe not all is lost. And I think that that is the key point. Other people’s lives. Other people. Not ours.  If an ideology states that you must love your neighbour, but only if that neighbour is exactly like you, then I think we should all start questioning the religion. God is love. Not God only loves those who conform to a world view of what is right at the time.

            So let's start talking about it. We need to air all the fears and thoughts we have around same-sex marriage, and if our concerns have more to do with us than those who are gay, then we need to work out why it affects us so much. And ask, why are my beliefs more important than someone else’s life. There is no need to be scared of change.