Resistance is futile.

            Hello, lovelies.

                             Have you ever pushed yourself so hard that you feel completely drained? Burnt the candle at both ends, only to berate yourself when you can’t quite do it. Are you able to sit down and turn your brain off? Or is there always so much to do, and the thought of sitting down is just unimaginable? Is self-care just something that other people do? Do you ever forget to take care of yourself?

               I’m not very good at practicing self-care. There is always too much to do. There’s all that lovely housework that never seems to end, my children with packed lunches and homework, my 3 jobs, shopping in the midst of all these lockdown measures. With all this going on I haven’t managed to pick up a book for months. How on earth would I be able to practice any form of self-care? I’ve tried leaving the housework. But the mountains of laundry took longer to catch up on than they would have done if I had just done it to begin with. How could I squeeze in a luxurious long hot bath? The second I close my bathroom door, my 2 dogs scratch and paw at the door begging to be let in.  And that would be the very moment that my children would start a lovely row with each other. It would be the furthest thing away from relaxing.

               But what actually is self-care? It is any activity that you could do in order to take care of our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. It helps to improve our moods and reduced anxiety. Finding time for self-care can be hard, but if we don’t find or make the time, it wouldn’t be long before we’re burnt out. Living with permanent exhaustion, in a brain fog, where focusing and trying to take care of anything or anyone will be impossible.

               So, what can we realistically do in the middle of our busy lives? Sleep. That is the most important thing. I rarely get enough sleep, and it’s my favourite thing to do. But because I am always so busy, I tend to stay up late scrolling through my online social media, watching video after video of puppies and kittens. Only to wake up the next day feeling very overwhelmed and totally unrested. It doesn’t help that I suffer from nightmares. I have one almost every night. Normally I’m being chased by zombies or I’m standing on stage, naked, and I don’t know my lines. But sleep is one of the most important things you can do.

               And then there’s having a healthy diet. Now I for one have an incredibly unhealthy diet. I leave my house in the morning, missing breakfast all together. I don’t feel hungry until it’s far too late and I’m starving, so grab the first thing I can find, which is usually a high sugar, low nutritious snack. Stuffing my face on rubbish, I’m then not hungry for dinner so fail to eat and then spend the evening hungry but too tired to eat. We should also take lunch breaks. Actually stopping and enjoy our food. Not just rushing it to get it done. And therefore, allowing our bodies time to digest it. We could also go for a walk after the lunch break. Stretching our legs, helping to lift the brain fog of our busy day. Just think of all the new and wonderful things you could see on your walk. I love walking my dogs. There is so much joy in watching them run in the park. Walking is so beneficial for our wellbeing. It’s a useful exercise that can add years to our lives as well as helping us to maintain our weight.

               Reaching out to friends and family can also help with our mental health. But what if it doesn’t? What if instead of bringing happiness, they only bring stress and heart ache? Then it’s time to make some hard but really important decisions. I have learnt that I need to put boundaries around my life.  That I don’t need to hold on to people that hurt and use me. That although I may lose people along the way, I would be holding on to myself.

               So, making my bedtime a priority and putting down my phone must happen. I need to prepare good healthy food in advance, and not snack on rubbish. Limit the amount of coffee I drink, (that’s going to be a hard one for me.) Walking, reading and laughing with good friends that value me will help my mental health. That is the key to a good relationship with myself and with others. So resistance is futile, it’s time to take care of ourselves now. 

                    









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