You'll never know

Hello, lovelies. 

     Once spoken, our words can never be taken back, no matter how hard we wish they could. Some words can cut deeper than any knife. Words, so easily slipped off the tongue in haste, anger or fear can live on in the hearts and minds of others. Do we always mean what we say? Or can we talk without an actual thought in our heads? Do we mean to hurt those around us, when all we are doing is saying what’s on our minds? And what if our words have completely the opposite effect. What if our words can inspire, excite and lead others to go on to greater things? Are our words only meant to wound? Or can they create something good? 

   I am the worst person at holding on to all the mean, spiteful and hurtful things that have ever been said to me. And amazingly, I can completely forget, almost instantly, anything positive. My mind can only really understand the negative comments. It’s my superpower. But is everything that is said to me really the truth? How are we meant to discern the truth from the jibes? Constructive criticism from just criticism? And why do some words stick so hard in our minds, while others flitter away? Who gets to choose what we hold on to and what we forget? It’s amazing how much damage a few muttered words can cause. I was bullied as a teenager in high school, so many years ago. But I can still remember the horrible things that my bullies taunted me with. I can be walking around the supermarket, minding my own business, and bam! I can hear the all the name calling. All the nasty remarks. All the attacks on my appearance and personality. Did my bullies know that their words would live with me for a lifetime? Or were they just thoughtless words from a troubled complicated teenager struggling to find their place in the school pecking order. 

     Over the years I have tried to choose my words with more care than when I was younger. Back then, I was known for saying the first thing that popped into my head without much thought. I never meant to say anything mean or hurtful, but back then I didn’t really understand how my words could be taken. And as the years have flown by, I’ve learnt the power of my words. I learnt that sticks and stones can break our bones, but names can always hurt you. So why do some people do it? Why do they mock and belittle others? Is it just a joke? Are they just playing and being funny? Is it all just down to good old banter? Or are we just being too sensitive? I’ve been accused of being far too sensitive over the years. Funny that. A nasty comment is said, but I am at fault for not just taking it with a pinch of salt. I now try to say only positive comments. Regardless how I feel, regardless of how much I’m hurt, I try to smile and say something nice. And I have found that I love being nice. I love saying all the kindness and happiness that I see. It’s so easy to spread a few kind words. It costs nothing to do, but the effects are priceless. So why can’t we all do it?  

        There is something so wonderful in something as small as a few kind words. And the funny thing is, when they are said the effects may never be seen. I know that a compliment or kind word can lift someone’s mood. And like a smile, kindness is infectious. It can pass on from person to person. I wonder how far the kindness can go with just a little help from us. It’s hard to know exactly how what we say will be taken by others. Our meaning and sentiments may be lost in translation. And I know, better than most, how hard it can be to hold back and not speak my mind when I really want to. But we don’t know anyone’s backstory. We don’t and won’t know just how our words can be taken. We must be careful with what we say. Words can wound, but they can also heal. We can use our words when we hear the negative comments, turn them around and push them back into the world at large. We can focus our words to healing ourselves.